The Ballad of Eli Whitney

Let me tell you the story ‘bout a man they say
Changed the course of history.
He wasn’t any soldier , and he wasn’t any King,
But he sure was a wizard when he fabricated things.
He’s the first one mentioned of inventor’s fame,
Eli Whitney was his name.

Chorus:
Old Eli didn’t give a damn,
Because he was an Engineering Man,
“I like makin’ money and I’m good with my hands,”
“And I don’t really give a damn.”

Now Eli was a farmer’s boy,
He learned his fabricatin’ on the fly,
He could fix any tractor, he could make them spry,
But they still only paid him for cleaning out the sty.
“Now Eli, you’re a genius Man,”
“But we don’t really give a damn.”

Chorus:
Old Eli didn’t give a damn,
Because he was an Engineering Man,
“I like makin’ money and I’m good with my hands,”
“And I don’t really give a damn.”

So Eli went down Harvard’s way,
An education will make them pay,
A genius with a good degree,
And a first-class referee,
Can find a rich man who’ll employ
Him as a tutor/servant/toy.

Chorus:
Old Eli didn’t give a damn,
Because he was an Engineering Man,
“I like makin’ money and I’m good with my hands,”
“And I don’t really give a damn.”

There Eli went and plied his trade
Finding new things to be made.
He thought it would be no sin
To come up with a cotton gin.
In just one day he had that sucker made.
Revolutionized the cotton trade.

Chorus:
Old Eli didn’t give a damn,
Because he was an Engineering Man,
“I like makin’ money and I’m good with my hands,”
“And I don’t really give a damn.”

But this time round, the Black Man’s pain,
Didn’t turn to Eli’s gain,
All that money for the Northern Plants,
Not a cent in Eli’s pants.
Eli learned his lesson well.
He must first control and sell.

Chorus:
Old Eli didn’t give a damn,
Because he was an Engineering Man,
“I like makin’ money and I’m good with my hands,”
“And I don’t really give a damn.”

So bein’ a practical sorta guy,
Eli went the normal way
“If I wanna make money, it’s no joke,”
“I better get to killen’ folk.”
So to put money in his pants,
He went into armaments.

Chorus:
Old Eli didn’t give a damn,
Because he was an Engineering Man,
“I like makin’ money and I’m good with my hands,”
“And I don’t really give a damn.”



© Copyright Jerome Raymond Kraus 2005