Is Carl Icahn, The Undead?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080606/ap_on_hi_te/yahoo_icahn
It's not just that the skin wrapped around his skull has become so dry, paper-thin and translucent that he makes the average Egyptian mummy look sexy by comparison. No, it's not just that. It's not just that the whole concept of the "corporate raider" smacks of some kind of ancient piracy along the lines of Blackbeard, or the bloodsucking of the Vampyre. It's not just that Icahn's thunderous denunciation of entire Yahoo corporate agenda sounds like the millenia old pronouncements of some ancient prophet of Mammon, condemning the people for failing to bow down with sufficient enthusiasm before the sacred God of Money. No, it's that when he talks about Jerry Yang, he's beginning to look and sound an awful lot like Hugh Hefner on an overdose of Viagra. This is very scary. Very Scary. Especially for Jerry Yang.
Now, normally, I wouldn't have a lot of sympathy for Jerry Yang. He's rich, famous and powerful. But, these days, he's getting it from more angles than Jeri Ryan at a Republican Party fundraiser. And even she never had half a dozen multi-billionaires doing her at the same time. Otherwise, she could certainly have retired from the proceeds. I mean, we all know that Jeri started out as a Porn Star, but who ever thought she'd end up as one, as well?
But I digress. The point is, Carl Icahn is looking more and more like the lead ghoul in the original cast of Night of the Living Dead, mindlessly pursuing poor old Jerry Yang and his board of directors, instinctively drawn by the intoxicating smell of money and blood. And we have a whole cast of other mindless ghouls joining him: Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, Rupert Murdoch, Larry Page et al. What I want to know is, when will the sun rise and either turn them all into dust, or force them to return to their underground crypts, where they can all rot away in peace?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080606/ap_on_hi_te/yahoo_icahn
It's not just that the skin wrapped around his skull has become so dry, paper-thin and translucent that he makes the average Egyptian mummy look sexy by comparison. No, it's not just that. It's not just that the whole concept of the "corporate raider" smacks of some kind of ancient piracy along the lines of Blackbeard, or the bloodsucking of the Vampyre. It's not just that Icahn's thunderous denunciation of entire Yahoo corporate agenda sounds like the millenia old pronouncements of some ancient prophet of Mammon, condemning the people for failing to bow down with sufficient enthusiasm before the sacred God of Money. No, it's that when he talks about Jerry Yang, he's beginning to look and sound an awful lot like Hugh Hefner on an overdose of Viagra. This is very scary. Very Scary. Especially for Jerry Yang.
Now, normally, I wouldn't have a lot of sympathy for Jerry Yang. He's rich, famous and powerful. But, these days, he's getting it from more angles than Jeri Ryan at a Republican Party fundraiser. And even she never had half a dozen multi-billionaires doing her at the same time. Otherwise, she could certainly have retired from the proceeds. I mean, we all know that Jeri started out as a Porn Star, but who ever thought she'd end up as one, as well?
But I digress. The point is, Carl Icahn is looking more and more like the lead ghoul in the original cast of Night of the Living Dead, mindlessly pursuing poor old Jerry Yang and his board of directors, instinctively drawn by the intoxicating smell of money and blood. And we have a whole cast of other mindless ghouls joining him: Bill Gates, Steve Ballmer, Rupert Murdoch, Larry Page et al. What I want to know is, when will the sun rise and either turn them all into dust, or force them to return to their underground crypts, where they can all rot away in peace?
posted by Jerry Kraus at 10:23 AM
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