Chief Justice in Hell


"Now the fundamental question
Is the nature of damnation
On this essential point
All our scholars are agreed.
Whether we need their assent
Or must fill their needs
Are mere quibbles
Left up to our legal creed."

“For all those souls condemned to Hell
And Lord knows I’m among them
We must determine, clear to tell
The nature of their sin.
And then, quantifying their evil
We can clearly determine
The punishment therein.”

“But as to pain and suffering
Satan’s powers true wellspring
Well, that’s quite another thing
That really has no legal ring
And if by torment overflowing
We can Lord Satan’s praises sing
Then that’s what we shall be doing!”

“You know William,” purred the Commander in Chief
“It’s really such a great relief
To find a truly kindred soul
Even though it’s here in Hell!
Now, you haven’t been here very long
But your legal instinct’s never wrong
And with all this new Technology
To make our residents suffer exquisitely
We really feel the need, you see
To justify it legally!”
“Well, that’s my job,” replied the judge
To quibble, rationalize and fudge
So those who have the greatest power
Can force all those in circles lower
Despite whatever goals they have
To be Lord Satan’s slave!”

“But isn’t there a higher power?”
Asked Richard, another judge on the Bench
Who, despite the fumes and stench
Retained some virtues in a clinch.
His love of power was so great
It had got him sacked as Head of State.

“A nice point Richard,”
Acknowledged William
Who retained a certain affection
For the man who had gotten him
His first Supreme Court position.
“In principle, I must agree
You put it quite succinctly.
But after all, this is the Law,
And principles have no place here
If God above controls our Land
Then what is Satan’s to command?
Are we not his rival,
May be not fight for survival?"

“Your Philosophy,
Hardly interests me”
Replied the Commander in Chief.
“What interests me is power.
And if I can get more
Using microchip implants in a dead man’s brain
By using them to augment his pain
I see no reason Divine Will should constrain
Any object I should choose to obtain.”

“It shall be as Lord Satan commands”
Replied William with a sweep of his hand
“My job is to fulfill my role
Lord Satan sets for me my goals
As long as I receive my purse
I’ll see to it, that Hell gets worse!”

© Copyright Jerome Raymond Kraus 2005